Social Media, at times, is considered my “bane of existence.” I view pictures of people’s travels, families, achievements/successes, friends gatherings, home and yard improvements, etc. and an overwhelming feeling of jealousy floods my inner emotions. I wish I could be sitting on a pew surrounded by family and friends. I wish I could be outside creating beautiful flower beds and vegetable gardens. I wish I could be present at my husband and children’s award ceremonies. I wish I could paint my bathroom and clean my carpets. I wish I could be more involved with my friends. I wish I could go on a family adventure and see all the things that bring the family joy. But in this season of life, I am alone.
I watch from the window while my family is outside cutting the grass, cleaning the yard, playing with the dogs, looking at the new growth of flowers and bushes. I get second hand accounts of church and its special occasions. I initiate the contact with friends and learn of their life through social media. But in this season of life, I am alone.
No one has forgotten me. Everyone is engaged with their jobs and families. The church continues to ask for updates from my mother. Joe is always willing to give information to anyone he sees. I understand. But I am no longer physically visible in the church, school system, family gatherings, normal shopping trips. But in this season of life, I am alone.
In truth, I am speaking of being alone (removed) from my once overly active lifestyle. I-now- have all the time to focus on God, family, and home. I let the pressures of work overflow into my home life. I was more committed to work and overly consumed with the pressures of being a better teacher than I was being a wife and mother. The home became less thought of- per say….
But in this season of life, I am alone. Alone to focus on being a homemaker: a child of God, wife, mother, grandmother, sister, daughter, and a friend who is willing to be an ear when needed.
God has blessed me with this season of life of being “alone” to focus on my priorities and what truly matters.
Yes, I will one day meet up with friends and have humbling fellowship catching up first hand with them. I will travel with my family when the opportunity arises. I will walk into the church with a smile and greet everyone with a handshake and hug. I will stand in my flower bed and garden and smell the freshness and goodness that is yet to come. I will attend my family’s ceremonies, funerals, weddings, gatherings and showers. I will be visible to all.
But for now in this season of life, I am alone.
May you find comfort in those seasons of being alone as I have. But know that you are not alone, your Heavenly Father is with you wherever you are on this temporary place called earth.
Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.
Matthew 28:20 KJV
Blessings, Jan
thepileofstickshome 
Blessings to you. Whatever you are going through, I wish you well, and I will pray for you.
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Jan, SO much of this describes me! It has been 9 years since my stroke! I ALMOST died–lost my ability to SWALLOW and to WALK. Although I have gained both of those back, it is still much easier for me, if I just STAY home. I don’t even do my own grocery shopping anymore. Thankfully, my wonderful daughter and son-in-love take care of this chore weekly. I RARELY leave the house, except for doctor’s appointments! I hear about almost everything on the outside world through my husband or daughter’s eyes. I MISS going out and doing things: driving, working, shopping, attending ballgames, and visiting friends and family. Yet, I am NOT able, NOR have no desire to do any of these TASKS. For now, I too will just stay home in MY season of being alone!
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